How The Grinch Went to Jail

"How The Grinch Stole Christmas" drawing by Chuck Jones

On Christmas Day, after the Who’s Feast,
An anonymous Who phoned to the police.

They reported The Grinch and his faithful dog Max,
For burglary, theft and probably smoking of crack.

Even though he gave all the Who gifts back,
And the feast and the trees and everything from his sacks,
The Who’s still pressed charges and didn’t cut him no slack.

So he was cuffed and thrown in the back of a car,
Heading to the WhoVPD, looking at years behind bars.

Thrown in a cell with the right to remain silent,
He waited for a lawyer to get his assignment.

But it’s Christmas today, and all the Who Lawyers,
Are with their families,  enjoying warm quarters,
While The Grinch shares a cell with Horney Horn Moyer

Horney Horn Moyer, the biggest inmate in jail,
Whose only concern is getting fresh tail.

The Grinch was fresh and ripe for a raping,
Mr. Moyer saw him and he was all for the taking.

This hot prison action went on for 3 nights,
When a lawyer showed up to The Grinch’s delight,
And got him a hearing for the next mornings light.

The very next morning, The Grinch was in Court,
The judge shouted loudly, “Lets make this thing short!”

The Judge saw The Grinch then saw the court file,
Then The Grinch delivered his famous Grinch Smile.

The Judge was not pleased, nor impressed with this dude
For this Judge was the Great Uncle of Cindy Lou-Who,
The girl The Grinch fooled who was no more then two.

The Judge handed down his ruling without haste,
While all of Whoville packed up the whole place.

A lifetime in prison without parole,
Cause stealing on Christmas is a no-go.

The gavel came down and The Grinch went away,
and all of the Who’s were free to go play,
and enjoy safe, peaceful future holidays.

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