Fresh from the Medulla Oblongata
Executives at NBC’s satellite cable Channel, Bravo, are engaged in fierce debates over how their hit reality TV cooking competition show, Top Chef, will implement a highly unorthodox, and potentially offensive new variable for their tenth season – sources reported over the weekend.
At the age of 17, it looks like pop-music internet sensation Justin Bieber has officially moved from making music history, to changing the face of our legal system. In responding to claims of paternity from an as-of-yet unnamed mother of a 3 month old infant, Bieber’s legal team is about to pull off a first [...]
We grabbed a case of beer, jumped in our cars and headed to the park. Just another day in the dead, humid heat of mid-August. Nothing to do but find a place where we can get drunk in peace.
My buddy Chris lived in one of those housing developments full of houses that all look the same, just different color siding and shutters. In an area still full of empty lots, there was a park with a basketball court and a few picnic tables that would serve as our bar for the night.
On August 25, representatives for famed Russian Oil and Gas Tycoon, Roman Abramovich, reported in a London press release that the billionaire playboy has just added a new toy to his already impressive collection of yachts, planes and homes… An entire star system. At a distance of 4.2 lightyears, or about 24 trillion miles, Alpha [...]
Facebook’s new device will keep track of users’ diets. Standing before an audience of over 200 onlookers, Facebook reps proudly unveiled the long-anticipated ‘ECapsule’ this afternoon at the Manhattan Hilton’s George M. Steinbrenner convention center. At just 3/4 of an inch long, and just a bit wider than a standard #2 pencil, the Facebook ECapsule [...]
Trend-setting electronics and appliance manufacturer LG released the Mixologist5000 to a few test locations earlier today. Dubbed “the bartender in a box” the Mixologist 5000 serves a noble purpose – to provide “resort-quality mixed drinks at home, minus the work.”
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Speaker of the House will spend 14 weeks hunting terrorists “It’s really an opportunity I’ve been looking forward to for quite some time now,” said Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, after White House sources revealed today that the President had ordered her on a 14 week mission into the mountains of Northern Afghanistan, to [...]
High-powered rifles and Special Education: a match made in heaven? The DoD says yes. In a move that’s got the Pentagon abuzz, the US Army Office of Special Applications has approved the formation of the first all-handicapped combat battalion in the history of the US armed forces. “I’d like to emphasize that this isn’t a [...]
Season 3 to get extra cast-member? Administrators at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s Department of Biology have confirmed rumors that they have successfully cloned the world’s first viable human embryo… And you’re not going to believe whose DNA they’ve chosen to replicate. None other than the Jersey Shore’s own Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino. “We didn’t [...]
Haiku about why my favorite snack always does me wrong by leaving me with pretzels and white sticks left in the bag at the end…
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